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User blog:FlareBlitz47/Flare Makes A Fanmade: I Em Bach In Business
F-Flare? With a blog? Holy fucking shit. Somebody call Hell to see if it's cold ther- What's that? The blog's a fanmade battle? Looks like Hell's a ski resort now. You're going to need to lock your windows, lock your doors, clean out your closet, hide your kids, hide your wife, turn off the lights and put on your best shirt. This only comes around once in a blue moon. All jokes aside, yes, this is a fanmade battle by me made in less than a full day. I should really make more probably since this one's so fun to make, but eh. Maybe if I'm not too lazy. Also fuck title cards and iTunes covers. Too lazy to make them (in case it's not clear, this is me begging for people to make them for meno jk dun need dem). So, without further ado, the main event: Eminem vs Bach because of a case of why the hell not. Cast Nice Peter as Eminem EpicLLOYD as Bach Lyrics oooOOOOHBLIGATORY ERB INTRO BACH VERSES EEEEEEEEEMINEEEEEMMM BEGIN Eminem: Man, you've gotta be blind and outta your mind for steppin' up to the greatest, most sublime, and refined rhymer, but whatever, fuck it Imma take up your challenge and spit gallons no matter how imbalanced This match-up is, I mean, this fattie won't even hurt me, no damage So lemme take the time to dish disses against this lil' missus named Johann and rip his lips apart with my rhymes like it's his demise, you won't survive, here's an advice: say your goodbyes, Prayers and plies for help, you can cry, but it won't help ya, guy! (Hahah!) I rap fast and smooth like the German Autobahns, Johann, ya feel me? You're like roadkill, whereas I'm ill, sick of you mostly, Bachie! Hell, I can freestyle with vile lines to defame people, you're next on the list, too I'll write up fourteen ways to getcha ass beat, think I'll call it The Art of F You. Johann: It's about time for a composer pro to grab the mic for some rhymes I'll spew You might be crazy, I agree, but I don't see any mad raps from you I raised the bar for making music, you waste no time to turn it to shit This battle's barely even started and it already looks as if you've Just Lost It. This will be Em's end, and I'm here to see the Aftermath I'd dethrone the King of Hip Hop, but it seems that I'm way past that Better Call and close the Curtains, the Show's over when I bring the hate You've got yourself some albums only your mother would lov- oh, no, wait. You call me fat, well, really, I'm just living large, mind you Cause when it comes down to songs, I'm Mass and in B Minor, too I've got tons of cantatas, don't mess around with me; Johann's profound, I got my concerts out on the Voyager, bub, how's that for being Space Bound? Eminem: You? Dethrone me? Please, I rip pussies like you when I'm sober and horny You're like Bea Arthur, only less golden and way older, homie Imma be in MP3s and MTV while Bachie here tries and cry lies against me Make ya regret facin' me, tear your arse apart like this was Goatse So just go, flee and leave me, this shitty composee can't topple this MC Cause you know me, my rhymes are cold, icy, they kill ya like it was pneumonee I'm the star of my Show, Joe, go back to being a no-go living in my Shadies I'd slit your throat to watch you flow, but even then I'd only get gravy. Bach: Think that verse was going great, Marshall? Then here's your Relapse, A recap: you're a retard, revolting, did methadone Til You Collapsed No Recovery now, too, Emmie, it's over, like Moby, When I'm done kicking your Ass Like That, you'd need to siddown, Shady! I'm the OG Daddy of Harmony straight up from Germany, Teach you a thing or two 'bout how to rap perfectly I'll be feeling all high and mighty disproving this so-called Rap God, So try and answer this, Marshy: why should I call you a king, when you're really a fraud? Who's one? Whose necks? No EEEEEEPIC '''*taptap* (symphony starts playing) '''RaAaAaAaP BATTLES...OF HISTORY! There should really be a poll here Oh Here it is :) Who won? Johann Sebastian Bach Eminem gibe impruvment pls i ned ur thots Category:Blog posts